Man I haven't posted a journal in here in like forever. lol. who cares tho, nobody really ever reads it, nobody probly ever will. lots of things on my mind, but nvr can put things into words.
well on christmas i proposed to my gf michelle she said yes we set a date for sept. 15, 2007. our bestest freind angie will be her maid of honor which is cool. i havent picked anyone yet really to be my best man. only reason is cuz im tryin to think of who would be the best choice, but when u line up all my freinds its more or less mainly females, i was always good to the ladyies, lol, but its narrowing to a few i probly wont decide til its life or death.

got promoted at work, more money more responsibilities(sp?).

other than thats pretty much my life work sleep call michelle call angie; or however the day rolls out. but thats pretty much my day.

man ive just been really bummed and i dont know why. i also feel like im useless. like if i try and help i only screw it up or make things worse. then if i dont do anything at all i still get yelled at cuz i shouldve helped. life just dosent make sense. but i feel useless cuz...i am more in likely am useless, yea thats about it im a useless piece of shit. and when there something wrong i try to goto people its just i never had anyone to goto always alone in my own lil world and i always felt like i never belonged anywhere, at home school freinds. i always felt like the outsider cuz i never belonged to any certain group i was just there like an observer, but not. of course im probly just ramblin on ppl would probly think im just an ass which is probly true. ppl probly would think im just postin this cuz im an idiot i know i am. i dunno it always seems like the ppl i care for i try to help but inadverntly just piss em off and then i get a lecture on how things should be. then when ppl piss me off i still get a lecture bcuz i always feel like i can nvr voice my feelings or opinion cuz its wrong and im never ever right even when i know i am im not. im never right, not with my family i feel like someone who just visits but i live here u know like i dont belong. w/ my friends cuz my ideas are dumb so i never decide anything because i always feel like noone cares what i think or how i feel and when i do try to state im not happy or wutnot its like yea wutever get goin noone wants to hear u go away u dumbass.
yea thats me dumbass and im the biggest one

Me bored. wut else is new.
I was sittin around doin nuttin and i am actually on the computer tho the one person i want to talk to and see isn't on cuz she is at work. shes also feeling icky and sick. plus shes really goin bonkers over her place dealing w/ her folks and sis, its just driving her bananas. i can relate, my folks drive me nuts every chance they get which is like every second of life cept when im w/ her or im at work.

mj if u read this as u already know, i love u always and forever. hehehehe, talk to u later love -muah-

lol nuttin much really figure id get ppls atttion w/ that header lol.
well hung out w/ my gf michelle and our friend angie
she just got her liscense yday so thats cool she freaked the hellout of me but u know wut else is there to do lol
then angie dropped me and mj at mjs house and angie went home cuz she had to be home by nine and then me and mj hung out for awhile we watched tv and stuff then she took me home and thats pretty much it
congrats ang for gettin ur liscense

im just at home doin nuthin right. just wanna tell mj, baby i love u and ur all i need muah love u

Well I went to my gfs house yday, MJ was glad to see me, as so was i to see her.
I was invited over to celebrate her sis 21st bday and her stepbrothers 27th bday, cuz her sis is on the 21st and his was yday.
So for dinner we had lausania(sp?); yes her family feeds me, actually its more like the hand me the fridge and i raid it bear type feed, lol, and a salad w/ it. I had 2 slices of the dish, and a bowl of salad. Her mom was like u can get another slice if u want but we are also having cake, i didnt care i was hungry cuz i didnt really eat anything for supper the nite b4 wasnt really hungry, well when u work at a fast food joint u dont ever feel hungry. So after eatin dinner me and MJ was just sittin next to each other and me bein the horn ball that i am just kept kissin on her and everything, cept for when her grand parent were in the room cuz it would be kinda weird, lol. Then we had the cake, it was goooood, it was a banna split cake, nvr really remember havin one of those b4 but nonetheless it was gooooood. after eatin cake we were stuffeded, lol. but i kept tryin to sudduce her and she wasnt buyin it but she ws enjoyin me tryin to, and after her parent left we were alone and im just nekkin here and everything, then she says stomach hurts and i was like bummer, cuz i didnt want her stomach hurting, so we layed on floor watchin batman forever, and im still sudducin, then we get the call from our friend tom cuz we were wanting to know if he and his gf were gonna be able to make it to the movies w/ us cuz it was a double date gig. and after he called me and mj just start makin out and then we had cookies. that was great we were just into it and everything more than normal, and a big turn-on, we got the cookies done and then her parents came home, we have great timing lol. We then went to movies and saw secret window it was pretty good, lots of twists and turns, alll and all good flick(go see it if u haven't). After movie went back to her house and we went to her room and hung out for awhile, just talkin bout stuff from the past, real good case of catchin up on old times.
I'd have to say it was a good time for me yday reasons;
a)spent time w/ mj
b)had cookies
c)spent time w/ friends
and d)knowin that mj enjoyed my company as much as i did; priceless
q-;c