Man I haven't posted a journal in here in like forever. lol. who cares tho, nobody really ever reads it, nobody probly ever will. lots of things on my mind, but nvr can put things into words.
well on christmas i proposed to my gf michelle she said yes we set a date for sept. 15, 2007. our bestest freind angie will be her maid of honor which is cool. i havent picked anyone yet really to be my best man. only reason is cuz im tryin to think of who would be the best choice, but when u line up all my freinds its more or less mainly females, i was always good to the ladyies, lol, but its narrowing to a few i probly wont decide til its life or death.

got promoted at work, more money more responsibilities(sp?).

other than thats pretty much my life work sleep call michelle call angie; or however the day rolls out. but thats pretty much my day.

man ive just been really bummed and i dont know why. i also feel like im useless. like if i try and help i only screw it up or make things worse. then if i dont do anything at all i still get yelled at cuz i shouldve helped. life just dosent make sense. but i feel useless cuz...i am more in likely am useless, yea thats about it im a useless piece of shit. and when there something wrong i try to goto people its just i never had anyone to goto always alone in my own lil world and i always felt like i never belonged anywhere, at home school freinds. i always felt like the outsider cuz i never belonged to any certain group i was just there like an observer, but not. of course im probly just ramblin on ppl would probly think im just an ass which is probly true. ppl probly would think im just postin this cuz im an idiot i know i am. i dunno it always seems like the ppl i care for i try to help but inadverntly just piss em off and then i get a lecture on how things should be. then when ppl piss me off i still get a lecture bcuz i always feel like i can nvr voice my feelings or opinion cuz its wrong and im never ever right even when i know i am im not. im never right, not with my family i feel like someone who just visits but i live here u know like i dont belong. w/ my friends cuz my ideas are dumb so i never decide anything because i always feel like noone cares what i think or how i feel and when i do try to state im not happy or wutnot its like yea wutever get goin noone wants to hear u go away u dumbass.
yea thats me dumbass and im the biggest one